Does Cuffin Season Become Overrated As You Grow Older?
Let’s Talk About It!
At What Age Cuffin Season Is Not A Thing Anymore?
The Cuffin Season, the time of the year where a temporary commitment and the promise of staying warmed in the arms of a temporary partner make the cold winter days so much more enjoyable (don’t front).
Cuffin Season Debunked
What the Cuffin Season about? I have to explain first because hey, some of our readers might not be familiar with this practice established since Shakespear wrote Romeo & Juliet.
Winter Is Coming…-Ned Stark Of Games Of Thrones (He Knew The Deal Too!)
This practice is the cousin of the good old ”Fake It Till You Make It” but the main point is to never make it. As a man, you could ACT like a boyfriend. ACT like you treat this winter sweetheart like the woman of your life but the story usually ends when the snowflakes melt.
This fine line between feelings and just having a good time is often crossed in the process. The woman or man who masters the art of the Cuffin Season has to convince their partner that this temporary situation is worth the try but with no confusion or no expectation.
As you guess, the ”No Expectations” part is when the story gets tricky. It seems like these under sheets therapy sessions have a side effect on some partner’s nervous system that unleashes their inner psycho.
After 10 years of ins and outs in this game, I personally realized that it was time for me to hang the jersey. Today, I will dig into why I think the Cuffin Season becomes massively overrated as you grow older and how to make the transition to something more serious in life (no it doesn’t involve a ring).
The Meaning Of Things Vs Sexual Appetite
From 18 to 25 years old (I’m 27 now), I had this silly idea that until I had enough experience I wouldn’t be able to find THE one. So as part of the process of collecting mental notes on the various different women I could encounter, the Cuffin Season seemed to be a level up to my one-night-one-strike lifestyle.
Sure It Was And Here’s What I Enjoyed About It…
This idea of treating another woman strictly like a piece of meat was always a hard pill to swallow for my mind. At least with this new quote-unquote social contract, things were easier; more human.
I could hold a conversation, share some stuffs about me, get the know her and…well you know the rest. In this text-me-first-and-share your-thoughts-last-era, it was cool to have some kind of closeness and intimacy.
Unwritten rules make it hard for adepts to really define what’s going on. Even though guys often get the bad rep for their involvement in the process, they’re as confused if not more about this whole thing.
Indeed, although it’s loud and clear where this relationship lookalike stands. Perhaps, there’s always this 1-second hesitation, a moment of truth. Added by ”What Ifs” and ”Just Imagines”; an ocean of impossible possibilities of her becoming more than just a candle flame in the wintertime.
As you grow older, you understand that this dictator that reigns under your boxers can’t always be the leader. You understand that desires become more tasteful when they actually have a meaning. Is it love? Is it appreciation? Well, it’s still something that drives you back again and again without a potential interruption which makes it all worth it.
The coming of age makes you reconsider what actually matters. You slowly but surely understand that your time has to be well spent on significant things or people.
You want things to mean something, a reason; something you can grow from. Growth is about seeing yourself in the future for exactly what you want to see as the bigger picture. You now want profound experiences rather than a hot night in the middle of January (trust me you will).
Catching Feelings Then Drama Is On The Way
As much as you can enjoy the process, you understand that it comes with consequences. The rules are simple but yet they become obsolete when someone breaks them and that someone can often be YOU.
It’s like spending time at the Casino, what you come in with is not often what you leave with. This guy or girl you saw as a seasonal thing could eventually turn out to be something even your worst nightmare couldn’t replicate: a potential lover.
As much as we rationalize the procedure to make it go as smooth as possible, as much as the love muscle keeps making it chaotic. Out of this chaos comes the ugly twin sister of love called drama.
It usually involves being called stuff like ”Asshole”, ”Liar”, ”Fuckboi” and so on. Ultimately, depending on your partner’s craziness, you can find yourself a victim of a weapon of mass destruction in this digital era called: an unpleasant SCREENSHOT.
And Even Worst But That’s Another Story…
Whether you admit it or not, the crazy chick or guy is entitled to having such a behavior (as long as nobody gets hurt though!). You can never predict what spending time with another human being can bring to the table emotionally.
There comes a time in life where you actually search for peace of mind. You don’t want to sell a dream anymore. False promises of a better tomorrow are not a game plan no more.
You feel like you can be brutally honest with someone mature and in return, this person can tell you exactly what they expect from all this. As you grow older, things don’t have to have a specific name attached to it, you don’t need to set a date for it to end; you just flow.
The ”Time To Settle Down” Factor
That’s the part where people actually lie to themselves. Men and women like to portray themselves as emotionless beings that rather commit suicide than jump in a commitment.
Blame it on a lack of maturity or Tinder if you want to point your finger at something but it is what it is. Deeper than all the social media phenomenon that made ”1 Lost, 10 Found” a reality. Something deeper than all the swipes and matches in the world will eventually force you to rethink the whole Cuffin Season thing.
That something is called ”Peer Pressure” or sometimes it’s just common sense. Let’s say you’re past 25 years old when it’s usually ”Time To Settle Down” but you’re late to the party.
For some of us, the timing ain’t right and peer pressure or common sense can’t fight their way in since we’re not there yet. I’m talking to the rest of the world who actually feel, need and want this thing to happen but fight it.
I’m talking about those who are tired of the game. Last winter, I had an epiphany about this and it all made sense.
At one point or another, you want to keep your shit together. You want to enjoy experiences and you know deep inside you can only share them with someone significant.
You know deep inside that you’re putting yourself in a box too small now. The no-strings-attached mindset you once had is irrelevant now and you want to build something but how?!
What about getting to know someone for who they are? What if we didn’t set an expiration date on things? Can you really go through the Cuffin Season your whole life?
If the answer is yes, your brain, your heart and every ounce of common sense you got will eventually show you the undeniable truth. Beyond peer pressure, beyond the fear of commitment, you will eventually expect more and it’s totally fine.
It goes back to that old cheesy saying: ”Time Will Tell”. Indeed, only time will tell certain things. It took my mom 27 years to understand that I was crazy so just imagine how much time it takes for a total stranger to figure YOU out.
Finally, If you get this sign that you rather call the season off, don’t ignore it. Make the move, let yourself go and explore because like Yoda would say:
”PATIENCE YOU MUST HAVE my young padawan”
What Do You Think?
Do you think there’s an actual age limit where Cuffin Season becomes irrelevant? Let us know how you feel about this process and if you actually went through it yourself!
Let us know in the comment section now.